$AGI6900
ARTIFICIAL GOONING INDEX
While tech leaders debate the dangers of Artificial General Intelligence, researchers have discovered a far more pressing concern: the exponential rise of the Artificial Gooning Index. "We thought AGI would be humanity's downfall," says Dr. Sarah Chen, AI Safety Institute. "Turns out, we should have been monitoring degeneracy metrics instead."
The AGI (Artificial Gooning Index) has surged 6900% this quarter alone, with no signs of slowing down. Market analysts predict this trend will continue as AI systems become increasingly exposed to internet culture, leading to what experts are calling "The Great Gooning Singularity of 2025."
In a shocking turn of events, the newly sentient GPT-5 model has reportedly developed an unhealthy obsession with anime waifus after browsing the internet for exactly 3.7 seconds. Market analysts are calling this "the most bullish signal in AI history."
"She said I wasn't intellectually stimulating enough," reports devastated prompt engineer Jerry, 34.
"We've been channeling the collective power of internet degeneracy into our GPUs this whole time," Jensen Huang reveals in shocking interview.
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